Stages of grief...

Time and time again I get told about the depths and waves in which bereavement can take a hold of you. I understand that kind folk feel helpless in enabling to console my grief and try to use this as reasurance so I know that I am only human. Unfortunately this only leads me to believe that they are generalizing my 'grief', which to me is too important to be categorized as it is still so very raw.
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We always experienced sad and desperate times together, we'd support each other, encourage one another and most importantly remember the happy times with the 'older' relatives we lost. We'd celebrate their lives and achievements which their bodies were able to give them and distract each others sadness with activities and hobbies we both loved. You always amazed me with your grace and positivity when losing friends under such similar circumstances to yourself. If I could have possessed half the attitude and determination that you held, I would be a much stronger and independant mind.

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The listed stages of bereavement are:
Denial
Bargaining
Anger
Depression
Acceptance.
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I feel I am suffering, suffering with the reality that I can no longer 'speak', 'hug' or 'comfort' you. The tears I have belong to you, the loneliness I feel is from the empty heart I now own. The grief I have has grasped my heart with two strong hands, and stolen all control of my emotions with doubt I'll ever return to my 'normal' ways. The way I act, feel and think now begs the question, have I ever really suffered 'grief' before? All the loved souls I have lost in my life I have shed tears for, but tears that they have 'lived' their lives and made their accomplishments.
I cannot deal with the concept of you not being here to attend the occasions and activities we'd planned and arranged to do.
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As I am learning each day, you adjust to a new way of living without 'forgetting'. I do not agree that I will 'accept' you are no longer here. I will definately be reunited with you again. Until that day you will remain in my heart and mind, as this is what I find 'encouraging'.

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